Please, yell at my kids! Five lessons I’ve learned about good parenting from around the world

I traveled from Mozambique to Finland to learn good parenting hacks, and came away with the same lesson: parenting is hard everywhere, but nowhere is it as lonely as it is in the US

Marina Lopes

Wed 23 Apr 2025 09.00 BST

Four years ago, scarred by the pandemic experience of trying to care for two toddlers in isolation, my husband and I decided we wanted a built-in community. We were tired of being the ones solely in charge of organizing, feeding, disciplining and playing with our kids.

On a whim, we moved halfway across the world to Singapore to live next door to our best friends, Jeremy and Melissa. We aren’t polyamorous, hippies or reckless. Just another set of tired parents, exhausted by trying to do it all with little support.

We rented an apartment across the street and began sharing meals, childcare and playdates – and yes, we even let my friends yell at our kids. I quickly realized that communal parenting isn’t radical; it’s practical.

I could feel the weight lift as I unlocked the door to their apartment after a long day of work each evening. Jeremy would be in the kitchen cooking something delicious, while Melissa poured me a glass of wine and the kids played in the room next door. Within weeks, I was happier, less stressed and a better mom than I had ever been before. My kids couldn’t believe their luck. They hadn’t just gained a sibling – but a whole new set of grown-ups who loved them and had their backs.

The experience had me questioning the norms I grew up with: that parenting is a job best left for, well, parents, and that protecting my kids meant keeping them away from anyone whose parenting style I disagreed with.

As a foreign correspondent, my favorite stories have always lived in the cracks between cultures, where what one group finds absurd, another sees as essential. But once I became a parent, I realized the deepest cultural divides weren’t about politics or food. They were about child rearing. Every country has its own sacred hacks for raising decent, independent kids who sleep through the night – and no two cultures agree.

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2025/apr/23/parenting-tips-around-the-world