How ‘hyper-parenting’ can do more harm than good

It takes most babies seven months to realise that they are a separate entity to their mother. Let that settle in - babies take over half a year to realise they are an individual, that their feet and limbs belong to them and, even better, they are able to control them. Put a baby in front of a mirror and they will not recognise themselves.

So I guess it’s not that surprising that it takes them a further decade to realise that their parent is an individual too.

Our kids see us primarily in relation to their needs, the person who provides food, shelter and comfort. But just occasionally you catch a glimpse of what else they think we do. Whether it’s watching them role play, hearing them chat to their friends or seeing their artwork, we occasionally get a sense of what fantastical ideas are in their heads.

As someone who champions the importance of using childcare for self-care I think about this a lot. The age-old reality is that for many parents: once we become one, our other, original self can quickly become forgotten. Certainly by our children, who struggle to comprehend that mum and dad have ambitions, passions and commitments that don’t involve them, and a life that existed long before they came along.

Source: https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/intensive-parenting-hyper-damaging-kids-b1044206.html

A mother gently holds her baby in her arms, both gazing softly at each other, capturing a moment of early bonding and emotional connection.